farters have to be the big spoon...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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