After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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