I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Everclear isn't food dammit
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
