oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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