when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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