Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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