Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
