She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
That accounts for only three of the penises
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just want to make out with him forever
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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