She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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