So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
