you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
