bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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