You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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