who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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