He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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