So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
