Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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