Pappa wants mamma naked
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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