so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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