I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
