i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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