I'm laying in your front yard are you home
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize