there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
