its not stalking. its research.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
