Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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