i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
