Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
