Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize