My hand turned me down
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
