I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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