You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
