yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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