You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
