i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It's blow job season.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
