The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
operation have a gay friend backfired
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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