I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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