Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
