Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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