Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
