I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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