I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize