How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
