you're like a bully in the Christmas story
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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