Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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