please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
