I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
