So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
