at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I think your dad took our porno
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
