I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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