Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It all started with a game of naked twister.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
