i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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