toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
