Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
