Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
