I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
