Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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