her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
