if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize