How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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