It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
operation have a gay friend backfired
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
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i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
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She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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