the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
