I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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