she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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