Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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