I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
