i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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