once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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